In The Spirit
by Darrel Isaac

Uncertainty is one of the great quandaries of human existence. It’s not knowing what’s coming next that makes us anxious and afraid. We don’t know what the next moment will bring - what we might gain or what we might lose. Well, the same holds true for Wiccans while incarcerated. Not only are we faced with the labeling but also to practice such a beautiful religion in a captive environment that most people are taught that is undeserving and deviant opens the door for nearly unlimited scapegoating where we are blamed for virtually any shortcoming of day to day life which can be credibly ascribed to us. It reinforces, to prison officials, and some prisoners, their stigmatized perception of us because our behavior, in their minds, departs from the norms of society.

Some people, prior to their incarceration, experienced a structural strain by society where the valued goals have unclear limits, and people are unsure whether the legitimate means that society provides will allow them to achieve the valued goals. Wicca provides people with a legitimate opportunity for meeting spiritual goals, when the Goddess and Gods remove society’s veil by speaking to our souls and clearing the path to true spiritual achievements. It can be lonely on the inside; incarcerated men and women need spiritual strength to coach them through the constant struggles of interacting with people on the outside. Then there is all this empty time to fill.

It is a task to keep in touch with relatives when you’re incarcerated. Since the technological aspect of society has not pierced through the concrete walls of prison, most of us are painfully limited to writing letters, something which has become a lost art to most in society thanks to text messaging and e-mail. A lot of relationships succumb to this; any conflict theorist would recognize this latent dysfunction towards family ties between prisoners and their loved ones, since this technology is closed to a certain portion of society.

Here one begins to learn about the limited extent to which conception of oneself can be sustained when the usual settings of support for it are suddenly removed. I see incarceration as only two phenomena, either tomb or womb, depending how the individual approaches the situation. I, myself, choose to utilize this gestation as a period of development.

First I had to regain some dignity that I personally believe I lost. I began studying the law to learn what happened to me step by step. This was challenging, but rewarding. I am working in the law library assisting prisoners in a wide range of post conviction motions all the way up to federal habeas corpus. I also teach legal research courses to instruct prisoners how to navigate through volumes of legal books and periodicals.

At the same time a desire to establish a relationship with the divine and distant myself from the trappings of the mundane led me to searching for years for years for the special bell for my altar. I knew I would know the tone when I heard it. After ringing every bell I picked up I still found myself puzzled about my true self. It wasn’t until I was introduced to Wicca, ancient Kemetic philosophy, astrology, and other Pagan religions that the Goddess and the Gods began instructing me on how to feed my soul. When this bell rang - it vibrated every chakra in my body, revealing the true essence of my existence. One evening while performing a mantra ritual to resonate the chakras, I realized I was facing myself stripped of every mundane influence, seeing who I am in the purest form.

To create hope and dreams to live for, I have enrolled in Bard College so that I can have influence over my life. Presently, I’m pursuing a degree in liberal arts. College has given me a focus where the limits are clear and I know through hard studying I can achieve a college degree to go alongside my background in the music industry, health education and counseling, administrative director of a nonprofit corporation and ten years of paralegal experience.

Not all states offer incarcerated men and women, in New York only a handful of institutions offer college programs. Should you find find yourself incarcerated in a state of a facility that doesn’t offer a college program, I encourage you of the incarcerated segment to utilize the law and general libraries to its full potential.

Actively involve yourself in the programs that the state has to offer and practice your religion to the best of your ability. Everybody has their limits, it just may be different ones. For some people it may be poverty, age, health or ignorance may be the limitation. I have prison, race to some point and other things, but I am not stopped by those limits, I just learn how to get what I need in spite of it. We learn as kids that life is not fair and we go from there.

Blessed Be,

Darrel Isaac
      Napanoch, NY